ZotB: Disney's Zombi

Apologies again for the lack of updates, and for the run-on (Or is it "shamble-on"?) of "Zombies on the Brain" postings. We'll try to come up with more, eventually. In the meantime, enjoy this little Disney parody.

Oh, 'Mad TV'. How you've tainted my childhood.

ZotB: Chainsaw Maid

It's rather apparent that these two claymations were made by different creators, judging both in their varying storytelling styles and the appearance of the animations themselves. The overall tone of the first claymation is more dramatic and done at a slower, building pace, which works well in its favor with the "silent" theme of the film. ("Silent" in that there are no voices given to the characters, only subtitles. However, background music and sound effects are present.) We're drawn in with devices such as the subtle cue in the newspaper articles and the mysterious appearance of a frightened, bloodied woman at their door. Given the previously mentioned remarks, added to the Asian overtones of the short film, it almost has a feel like that present in some of the 'Resident Evil' games with a helping of Romero's 'Night of the Living Dead'. But perhaps we're reaching a little, there.

The sequel claymation, however, is at best a caricature of the former. Scenes like the unbuttoning of the maid's blouse, which originally had an air of secretive taboo, become as outright cartoonish as Tex Avery's "Red Hot Riding Hood." Not to mention that the figures and sets seem a tad on the crude side, particularly when compared to the first. But this rougher aesthetic plays well as an accent to its grittier, gorier theme. The violence becomes a little more creative and the body count much, much higher. Fans of 'The Evil Dead' franchise or 'Braindead' can certainly appreciate this one. As for the Asian overtones, if we can liken the first to the 'Resident Evil' games, this would be the less provocative, Western second-cousin of 'Big Tits Zombie'. Little remains of the original animation's Eastern influence, which is reduced simply to a few, gong-cued subtitles. Needless to say, we had mixed feelings towards the sequel.

'Chainsaw Maid' and 'Chainsaw Maid 2' earn a combined score of three out of five maids.


WARNING: The following animations contain extreme violence, albeit in clay. Viewer discretion is advised.

ZotB: CDC on the zompocalypse

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention posted this online article on May 16th, 2011, regarding the inevitable zombie epidemic. Writer Ali S. Khan makes use of the zombie genre's popularity as a means to encourage families and individuals to plan for emergencies, whether or not they involve the walking dead. The following is the unabridged CDC article in its entirety.

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Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse

There are all kinds of emergencies out there that we can prepare for. Take a zombie apocalypse for example. That’s right, I said z-o-m-b-i-e a-p-o-c-a-l-y-p-s-e. You may laugh now, but when it happens you’ll be happy you read this, and hey, maybe you’ll even learn a thing or two about how to prepare for a real emergency.

A Brief History of Zombies

We’ve all seen at least one movie about flesh-eating zombies taking over (my personal favorite is Resident Evil), but where do zombies come from and why do they love eating brains so much? The word zombie comes from Haitian and New Orleans voodoo origins. Although its meaning has changed slightly over the years, it refers to a human corpse mysteriously reanimated to serve the undead. Through ancient voodoo and folk-lore traditions, shows like the Walking Dead were born.

A couple dressed as zombies - Danny Zucco and Sandy Olsson from the movie Grease walking in the annual Toronto Zombie Walk.

In movies, shows, and literature, zombies are often depicted as being created by an infectious virus, which is passed on via bites and contact with bodily fluids. Harvard psychiatrist Steven Scholzman wrote a (fictional) medical paper on the zombies presented in Night of the Living Dead and refers to the condition as Ataxic Neurodegenerative Satiety Deficiency Syndrome caused by an infectious agent. The Zombie Survival Guide identifies the cause of zombies as a virus called solanum. Other zombie origins shown in films include radiation from a destroyed NASA Venus probe (as in Night of the Living Dead), as well as mutations of existing conditions such as prions, mad-cow disease, measles and rabies.

The rise of zombies in pop culture has given credence to the idea that a zombie apocalypse could happen. In such a scenario zombies would take over entire countries, roaming city streets eating anything living that got in their way. The proliferation of this idea has led many people to wonder “How do I prepare for a zombie apocalypse?”

Well, we’re here to answer that question for you, and hopefully share a few tips about preparing for real emergencies too!

Better Safe than Sorry

So what do you need to do before zombies…or hurricanes or pandemics for example, actually happen? First of all, you should have an emergency kit in your house. This includes things like water, food, and other supplies to get you through the first couple of days before you can locate a zombie-free refugee camp (or in the event of a natural disaster, it will buy you some time until you are able to make your way to an evacuation shelter or utility lines are restored). Below are a few items you should include in your kit, for a full list visit the CDC Emergency page.

Some of the supplies for your emergency kit.

• Water (1 gallon per person per day)
• Food (stock up on non-perishable items that you eat regularly)
• Medications (this includes prescription and non-prescription meds)
• Tools and Supplies (utility knife, duct tape, battery powered radio, etc.)
• Sanitation and Hygiene (household bleach, soap, towels, etc.)
• Clothing and Bedding (a change of clothes for each family member and blankets)
• Important documents (copies of your driver’s license, passport, and birth certificate to name a few)
• First Aid supplies (although you’re a goner if a zombie bites you, you can use these supplies to treat basic cuts and lacerations that you might get during a tornado or hurricane)

Once you’ve made your emergency kit, you should sit down with your family and come up with an emergency plan. This includes where you would go and who you would call if zombies started appearing outside your door step. You can also implement this plan if there is a flood, earthquake, or other emergency.

Family members meeting by their mailbox. You should pick two meeting places, one close to your home and one farther away.

1. Identify the types of emergencies that are possible in your area. Besides a zombie apocalypse, this may include floods, tornadoes, or earthquakes. If you are unsure contact your local Red Cross chapter for more information.
2. Pick a meeting place for your family to regroup in case zombies invade your home…or your town evacuates because of a hurricane. Pick one place right outside your home for sudden emergencies and one place outside of your neighborhood in case you are unable to return home right away.
3. Identify your emergency contacts. Make a list of local contacts like the police, fire department, and your local zombie response team. Also identify an out-of-state contact that you can call during an emergency to let the rest of your family know you are ok.
4. Plan your evacuation route. When zombies are hungry they won’t stop until they get food (i.e., brains), which means you need to get out of town fast! Plan where you would go and multiple routes you would take ahead of time so that the flesh eaters don’t have a chance! This is also helpful when natural disasters strike and you have to take shelter fast.

Never Fear – CDC is Ready

Get a Kit, Make a Plan, Be Prepared.

If zombies did start roaming the streets, CDC would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak. CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation. This assistance might include consultation, lab testing and analysis, patient management and care, tracking of contacts, and infection control (including isolation and quarantine). It’s likely that an investigation of this scenario would seek to accomplish several goals: determine the cause of the illness, the source of the infection/virus/toxin, learn how it is transmitted and how readily it is spread, how to break the cycle of transmission and thus prevent further cases, and how patients can best be treated. Not only would scientists be working to identify the cause and cure of the zombie outbreak, but CDC and other federal agencies would send medical teams and first responders to help those in affected areas (I will be volunteering the young nameless disease detectives for the field work).

To learn more about what CDC does to prepare for and respond to emergencies of all kinds, visit:
http://emergency.cdc.gov/cdc/orgs_progs.asp

To learn more about how you can prepare for and stay safe during an emergency visit:
http://emergency.cdc.gov/

To download a badge like the one above that you can add to your social networking profile, blog, website, or email signature visit:
http://emergency.cdc.gov/socialmedia/zombies.asp

holiday addition: National Nurses Week

Occasionally, we come across an observance that we weren't previously familiar with. This time around it's National Nurses Week, which encompasses a number of holidays meant to honor this medical profession, namely: National Nurses Day (May 6th), National Student Nurses Day (May 8th), and the birthday of Florence Nightingale (May 12th). With that in mind, we're making National Nurses Week our latest addition to the Darkley Niche's Seasonal Horror Calendar.

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May 6th-12th - NATIONAL NURSES WEEK

'Misery' (1990)

Best-selling novelist Paul Sheldon is caught driving home in a blizzard, ultimately crashing his car. Thankfully, former nurse and coincidental fan Annie Wilkes happens to chance upon him, taking Paul into her care in a remote house nestled in the woods. Fortunate circumstances, right? Well, not so much when this "dirty bird" doesn't write a new novel the way she likes.

Additional Nurses Week suggestions:
- 'Silent Hill' (2006; light-sensitive nurses with bandaged heads)
- 'Planet Terror' (2007; anesthesiologist Dakota Block and her "three friends," though she's actually a doctor)
- 'Sick Nurses' (2007; Thai horror film about nurses haunted by a past victim)
- 'The Uninvited' (2009; personal nurse turned stepmother)
- 'Dawn of the Dead' (1978; nurse zombie at the mall)

Late Bloomer

"We all saw it sprawled across the blackboard the second we stepped into Ms. Lovecraft's class... It's wingspan reached from one end of the room to the other, hovering above our heads as if it were about to pounce. It's.. chalk scrawled claws looking ready to grab up an unsuspecting student and fly away..."

Written and directed, respectively, by Clay McLeod Chapman and Craig Macneill
, 'Late Bloomer' was among the short films selected in the 2005 Sundance Film Festival, and with good reason. The success of the short is in its ability to personify the progression of confusion, repulsion, anxiety, then obsession of a seventh-grader boy on the precipice of puberty as through the perspective of H.P. Lovecraft, were he perhaps the student during Sex Ed. However, since the schoolteacher is already named after the author, we'll just refer to this nameless student as Randolph Carter. If you got that reference, you likely will catch the allusions made in those classmates that are named. (WARNING: spoilers ahead and sexual content)

Jimmy Pickman, "Pickman's Model"

Norween Dunwich, "The Dunwich Horror"

Larissa Innsmouth, "The Shadow Over Innsmouth"

'Late Bloomer' opens with the echoing twang of guitar strings, accompanied by the reflecting, nervous narration of an apparently adult version of our adolescent protagonist. You can't help but sympathize at least slightly for the perplexed students, as Jimmy Pickman voices aloud their collective confusion, asking, "What is that ungodly thing?" to which our lead replies, "It looks like an octopus." In response, their instructor authoritatively etches the name above its "dome-shaped head" in bold, chalk letters: VAGINA. As is often the case in classrooms, Ms. Lovecraft tells her pupils to repeat this foreign word.

"I shuddered at the sound it's name made in my mouth, whispering it with the rest of the students. It seemed to seep out from over my tongue, the syllables all soft and moist as if it had just drudged itself up from some sordid portion of my stomach, buried for centuries under the muck of my meals, rising up towards my teeth on a tide of bile."

As Randolph is made aware that all women are born with the namesake of that which they were "invoking" in unison, the more he notices that the girls of his class have begun to slink in their seats. Norween Dunwich in particular feverishly writes every "pagan name her high priestess called out" whilst fervently fanning her knees together. Only he seems to see that this was not some ordinary, textbook curriculum. Oh, no. This was in fact a ritual of an eldritch evil that lurked within the very female form, living amongst him and his fellows all along. As if this dawning dread-fright wasn't enough to test the sanity of a seventh grade boy, Ms. Lovecraft unveils from behind a geographical map another ancient blasphemy: "This is... THE PENIS!"

"Maybe a madhouse would be as good of any a place to save me, now. No doctor could erase this profane image from my brain forever... For I found myself staring at Him Who is Not To Be Named... the Mighty, One-Eyed Messenger! THE GOAT WITH A THOUSAND YOUNG!"

All suddenly goes black as Randolph appears in the school office of Principal Peters, the narrator pleading with the flush man in his robin egg blue suit of a foreboding metamorphosis. But the boy's words seem to fall on deaf ears as the scene transitions back to Ms. Lovecraft's classroom, his own horror now likewise engraved on every youthful face therein. It is only then that he is disjointedly aware of another set of eyes, locking onto those of Larissa Innsmouth.

"The creature hidden within her was attempting to communicate with me! It's sole mode of speech were a series of thought waves, transmitted through its clitoral antenna. Even now these beasts talked within their tombs, sending their telepathy out from beyond the cotton lining of all the girl's underwear... MmhmmMaHaHA!"

Losing his much-weakened grasp on known reality, Randolph at last descends into the dark abyss that is the reproductive system, Ms. Lovecraft's idolatry.


Visions of chaotic ecstasy ensue with instructor and fledgling adepts alike immersed in profane rites. Randolph's insane laughter aggressively gives way to guttural growls and all goes black as earlier. Consciousness slips again, bringing him once more before the desk of Principal Peters, whose bloodshot eyes only stare out from behind the sweating, fleshly mask that is his face. Looking back into that face is the calm countenance of Randolph, self-assured that his peers will eventually come to see the same revelations as he had in themselves. Not solely in conscious realization, but in physical actualization. Memory moves us one last time to Ms. Lovecraft's class to bear witness to the final horror, the reason for his presence in the principal's office.

"My pants were now crumpled up at my ankles, my hands hidden below the desktop... Strips of mother of pearl stretched along the floor, as if some slimy beast had been released from within me! The residue of its escape... shining over the linoleuuuuuummm...!"

To paraphrase The Lonely Island: "And now I'm posed in an awkward stance, 'cause I jizzed in my class!"

Here I thought that vomiting over my desk in elementary school was the worst humiliation to have happen in a classroom. That seems much more tame in comparison to this embarrassing incident in the end, but I digress. 'Late Bloomer' seamlessly blends Lovecraftian themes with those closely associated to the awkward transition into puberty, which is what makes the short so ingenious. Furthermore, the students are so thoroughly compelling in their roles that I found myself surprised with exactly how impressive their performance was. Especially when you consider my general disposition towards child actors, which is often one of dissatisfaction. I give it five out of five Ms. Lovecrafts.

On a side note, doesn't this particular scene in 'Late Bloomer' seem reminiscent of Alfred Hitchcock's ending to 'Psycho'? If that was intentional, it's a stroke of sheer brilliance.

Friday, Friday

If we weren't dragging our feet metaphorically, we would surely be worn down to the kneecaps by now. Our Darkley Niche watchers are few, but regardless we appreciate the fact that we even have watchers, so our apologies for the lack of posts. We'll try to keep up on a more regular basis, perhaps on the weekends. And taking a page out of Rhonny Reaper's book, perhaps it's time we share the load a little by bringing our friend and Darkley comic co-conspirator, Don, into the Niche. After all, he's just as much a part of this concept as myself, so it only seems right and likely overdue. But we'll come back to that at a later time, after I've had an opportunity to show Don how to operate around Blogger.

Among the problems with neglecting posts, one such includes missing holidays and horror-related dates. Case in point: Friday the 13th. Well, while it isn't the thirteenth any more, it is the following Friday. So with that, here's an amusing, albeit brief, little video we were hoping that someone would have made and luckily did. Thank you, YouTube.

Also, say what you will about 'Freddy vs. Jason', Don and myself found that film to be an amusing love letter to both the franchises and certainly better than some of the sequels that preceded it. 'A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge'. Need we say more?

ZotB: from myth busting to busting zombies

Hey, everyone! Hope all our readers had a good Easter this past weekend.

Recently we came across Jeff Gilbert's Drinkin' & Drive-In, another horror blog that's definitely worth following along. But more to the point, among Jeff's latest posts included an article on an upcoming short film titled 'Night of the Little Dead', an obvious word play on George Romero's claim to fame. Basically, it's about midget zombies. *winces* Can't help cringing a little at that premise. However, while viewing the trailer we spied 'MythBusters' own Adam Savage caught in the ensuing chaos. Who would've guessed? So, if you're as entertained with watching Adam Savage on 'MythBusters' like we are, maybe he will also bring something good to the table, here.

the trailer

behind the scenes trailer

On a side note, one of the "little dead" is performed by Michigan native, Martin Klebba. With Darkley creators Don and myself also being born and raised in Michigan, we get a thrill whenever our home state can make an appearance, even if it's by association with an actor. Heck, Alaska has had more prominent features in horror! No disrespect intended, Alaskan readers.

Martin Klebb getting into costume

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Greetings again from the Darkley Niche as we commemorate another holiday: St. Patrick's Day! Instead of going the obvious route with the infamous 'Leprechaun' franchise, we're posting a handful of videos here that variously blend horror and St. Patrick's Day themes. Maybe it will put you in the mood to watch more. Have some laughs, scares, and a few green-dyed drinks with friends, tonight! As our storyteller Vicki would tell you, be sure to party in moderation. She is undead after all, so know your limitations.

And because the YouTube embedding was disabled for this video:

The Nightmare Before St. Patrick's Day

randomness: Under Bergets Rot

Found this rather entertaining animated music video by happenstance, yesterday. Finntroll, a Finnish metal band purportedly deriving its name from an old legend, combines characteristics found in death metal, folk metal, and an exclusively Finnish style of music called "humppa." Not that we're an expert on humppa, considering that we only learned of it last night, but its fast pace and folk instrumentals seem to pronounce this particular style, here.

If you're a fan of metal, as well as punk rock groups that incorporate folk music and instrumentals, like the Dropkick Murphys, we're sure that you'll also enjoy this. However, should this style of music not entertain, then the animation itself surely will. One part macabre, another part vaudeville, this is the kind of place that patrons of the weird would likely frequent. We certainly would. If there are any entrepenuers out there looking to begin a bar like this, let us know! The Darkley storytellers would love to gather at a watering hole like this one.

Happy Valentine's Day

Be mine?

Wishing all of our viewers a very happy Valentine's Day! Nothing says Valentine's and horror like the 1981, Canadian slasher My Bloody Valentine. So for all you horror lovers out there, be sure to give it a watch. There's nothing like a homicidal maniac on the loose to bring you and your significant other closer... Well, except for those couples in the movie. Read our review of My Bloody Valentine (1981), though we recommend that you do so after watching to avoid spoilers.

Since we've covered the original film last February, perhaps Don and myself will give the 3-D remake a watch this week. I'll reserve any doubting comments until we've seen it, but I will say that it does have Supernatural's Jensen Ackles. As my girlfriend Dara would remark, I've got a man-crush on the guy. What can I say? I took a real shine to him as Dean Winchester. Wish I had an older brother like him.

Oh, Jensen. You heartthrob, you. Can you do no wrong?
For the sake of My Bloody Valentine 3-D, let's hope so.

Black History Month: Bride of Blackenstein

Having been rather lax as of late with the Darkley Niche, it's time that we remedy that. With February being Black History Month, we're writing this article in regards to that theme. Expect more to come, touching on this.

Kenanan Thompson (right) and Jay Pharoah (left), who sounds an
awful lot like Wyatt Cenac as muppet Michael Steele ("bibbles" and all)

Nicki Minaj as the Bride of Blackenstein, brought to life

Saturday Night Live has a talent for making satirical commentary on various social circumstances, be they modern or past. In the case of their recent short skit, "Bride of Blackenstein," there is a bit of both. Drawing inspiration from the 1973 blaxploitation horror film Blackenstein, a.k.a. Black Frankenstein, this parody takes the next step by adapting Universal's The Bride of Frankenstein as if it were a sequel of the former. Now, not having seen Blackenstein for ourselves, we're only aware of the superficial traits and obvious stereotypes of the film.

So perhaps it is in poor taste that Saturday Night Live chose to use a derogatory genre for a comedy sketch. Then again, by mocking these racial stereotypes it points out the problems that were evident back then and, unfortunately, are still perpetuated in the film industry today in varying degrees. But then, does "Bride of Blackenstein" only succeed in exasperating this situation? It's a looping argument, which we won't allow ourselves to be drawn into.

Regardless of what your stance may be on the short itself, "Bride of Blackenstein" brings to mind the valid controversy surrounding Black, as well as Black women, stereotypes in cinema. It is in our personal opinion that if this was Saturday Night Live's actual intention, then they made good on it.

Additional Black History Month articles:

• Black History Month, part I (2010)
  
• Black History Month, part II (2010)

Mr. and Mrs. Death sketch card

Adapted from the video games of the same name, the Death Jr. graphic novels are amusing with their mix of small town suburbia and the macabre. Plus, it has had contributions by three amazing artists, namely: Mike Mignola (cover art), Ted Naifeh (interior illustrator), and Guy Davis (comic short). Anyway, the best example of this mismatched marriage is Mr. and Mrs. Death, parents of the story's protagonist, Death Jr. It's an odd match, but they're very sweet.

Purchase this original art for $25 USD, which comes in a plastic protector and includes no additional mailing costs. Contact me if interested.