Happy Father's Day

Have a happy Father's Day, from all of us here at the Darkley Niche! Feeling inclined to watch some Father's Day horror for the occasion? Well, look no further than our Seasonal Horror Calendar. Be sure to also browse down the calendar to September as well, for those of you who have grandfathers (Grandparents Day) and stepfathers (Stepfamily Day). After all, it's Father's Day for them too, you know. And in the spirit of Father's Day, here's some fatherly advice from a handful of horror film dads.

JACK TORRANCE
'The Shining' (1980)

"Enjoy the time you have while you're still a kid, and don't be in such a hurry to grow up. Make friends, use your imagination -- well, maybe less in your case, Danny -- and play. Especially play. As the old saying goes, 'All work and no play...' "

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NATHAN GRANTHAM
'Creepshow's first story, "Father's Day" (1982)

"Everyone wants to feel appreciated, dear ol' Dad included. Find a way to say 'thank you' to someone special. Perhaps a simple, handmade card or a small gift. As long as the thought is evident, they'll know it's heartfelt. Although I personally prefer cake..."

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PAPA JUPITER
'The Hills Have Eyes' (1977)

"Teach your boys how to hunt, to clean their kill, and cook a meal. We want our sons to eventually become self-reliant and these are good ways to show them how. Remember, it's a dog-eat-dog world out there..."

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"DAD"
'The People Under the Stairs' (1991)

"Respect to 'Mother' shows respect to me. The same holds true with any family, and your father will feel the same. Besides, whenever you go over her head it's usually up to Dad to bring the heavy-duty discipline. And believe you me, you do not want to see him dressed in a borderline bondage, leather suit..."

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ERICH STREATOR
'Twilight Zone's episode "Living Doll" (1963)

"Like all personal belongings, when toys aren't in use it's best to put them in their proper place. A toy chest, closet, underneath the bed, et cetera. Wherever it works best. Especially be sure to keep toys off of the stairs. Someone could accidentally break their neck..."

Gobstopper

♪ Who can take a sunrise, sprinkle it with dew? Cover it with choc'late and a miracle or two? The Candy Man. Oh, the Candy Man can. ♫

Nope, we're not talking about Daniel Robitaille, i.e. Tony Todd as Candyman. Nor are we talking about Willy Wonka... Well, not Mom and Dad's 1971 musical with Gene Wilder, anyway. (Although that creepy boat ride deserves credit, we'll give it that.) More like a dark parody that perverts what made the former charming. Example? Imagine if the directors of 'SAW' or 'Hostel' got their hands on the old screenplay and went, "Yeah, we could have a landscape of gumdrop trees and chocolate rivers... But how about a dank and decrepit factory warehouse, instead?"

And of course the teens turn out to be the secret ingredient to Wonka's chocolate. Hang on, didn't 'Epic Movie' do this already? (For the record, don't watch it. Just... just don't. Seriously Crispin Glover, you can do better.)

Crispin Glover as "Willy" in 'Epic Movie' (2007)

Sounds rather lame, doesn't it? However, writer and director Eric Appel does what is essential for a premise of such ludicrousness to actually work: make it a black comedy. Right from the get-go of the 'Gobstopper' trailer it's made obvious. Case in point, take it away atypical, comedy relief guy.

Girl #2: "Guys, look at these weird, old candy bars."

C.R. Guy (right): "My boner's got weird, old candy bars."

Oh, you card, you. You can tell from the other guy's incredulous expression that he must be thinking, "Really? -- Really?" or something similar. But I digress.

The real stroke of genius was casting Christopher Lloyd as Willy Wonka. He can do comical and creepy all at the same time. (ex: 'Dennis the Menace') Not too many actors can pull that off effectively. Sorry Johnny Depp, but you were creepy in a more Michael Jackson sort of way. Even then, the "creep factor" was unintentional on your part or Mr. Burton's, I'm sure. (We're Burton and Depp fans, so don't be hating. Same with M.J., at least musically speaking.)

Johnny Depp (left) as Willy Wonka and Michael Jackson (right) as, well, himself

From what I understand this is a faux trailer, although it could make for an amusing movie. There are plenty of flop films out there that would be halfway decent if they were done as a black comedy. Pity that 'Gobstopper' doesn't go all the way to the silver screen, or even direct-to-video. Still, it stands well enough on its own as a trailer. 'Gobstopper' gets four out of five "weird, old candy bars."

Gobstopper Trailer from Gobstopper Movie

Women in Horror Month

The Darkley Niche is still a very young site, but we've managed, at least I hope, to start walking in the right direction by following the example of other horror bloggers. Carla, better known to many as Cool-slayer, runs the blog Nakamura's Place and is essentially what got me interested in starting my own. And while it's not specifically a horror blog, she discusses the genre from time to time and is a much bigger horror buff than myself, garnering my respect. So, getting a foothold, I started referring to the links that she included to find other sites of interest, specifically horror blogs, and eventually came across Rhonny Reaper's Dollar Bin Horror. From here I've found that there is a strong female following in horror fandom, which brings me to the matter of this post.

Started by Hannah of Women in Horror Month, February has been dedicated to the women that have made contributions over the years to the genre and has attracted attention, mostly from the female horror community. Throughout this month, for example, Rhonny Reaper is recognizing fellow bloggers of the fairer sex like herself with the "Cyber Scream Queen of the Day Award". Meanwhile, the gals of ZombieGrrlz are doing "28 Days of Diabolical Dames", dedicating a daily post to a different woman in horror. While I myself might not be of the female persuasion, I can still appreciate this event and at the very least give recognition to a handful of ladies whose talents deserve acknowledgment.

ELSA LANCHESTER
(1902-1986)

Despite her very brief roles as Mary Shelley and the Bride in Universal's 'The Bride of Frankenstein' (1935), given less than twenty minutes of screen time, easily, her performance in the latter part is both eerie and enchanting. This, I'm sure, is why the Bride has become such a classic Hollywood monster.

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ZELDA RUBINSTEIN

(1933-2010)

As many horror fans are aware, the recent death of Zelda Rubinstein brings in the new year on a slightly somber note. Well known as medium Tangina Barrons in 'Poltergeist' (1982) and the sequels that came in succession, she gave a grandmotherly warmth to the role that makes her particularly memorable.

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CASSANDRA PETERSON
(1951-present)

Now, to any of you girls (or guys, for that matter) that guffaw at this third mention, I'll point out that Ms. Peterson (a.k.a. Elvira) has established herself as a horror cult icon on par with others like Bruce Campbell, who essentially live off of their created personality. To achieve the sort of fame as that, I tip my hat to you.

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JODIE FOSTER

(1962-present)

Granted, 'Silence of the Lambs' (1991) and its following sequels fall more appropriately into the thriller genre than horror. Still, there is definite horror interwoven, and Ms. Foster's role as agent Clarice Starling is iron strong in the adversity of two sociopathic serial killers and a discriminative Bureau.

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HELENA BONHAM CARTER
(1966-present)

Lending her talents to several of Tim Burton's films, Ms. Carter more than proves her mettle in such roles as the ever-wistful Emily in 'Corpse Bride' (2005) and grisly Mrs. Nellie Lovett in 'Sweeney Todd' (2007). Thanks to her, I will never look at a pot pie the same way, again.