Gravity Falls: Summerween

the Mystery Shack, decorated for Summerween

For those not familiar with the Disney Channel series 'Gravity Falls', the premise is how twin siblings Dipper and Mabel Pines spend their summer with Great-Uncle "Gruncle" Stan, a Shriner-looking sheister who runs a tourist trap called the Mystery Shack. (Or Mystery Hack, rather, as the letter S has fallen off of its proper place on the sign.) But, as the children soon learn, the town of Gravity Falls, Oregon is far from normal and appears to be a hub of all manner of strangeness. It's loosely like 'Twin Peaks', but less soap opera melodrama and for kids. (This is especially apparent at a restaurant called The Club, where the interior resembles the "Red Room.")

In time for the season, 'Gravity Falls' released its latest episode "Summerween," named after the fictitious holiday celebrated on June 22nd. The townsfolk of Gravity Falls apparently all loved Halloween so much that they invented it. (Definitely sounds better than Christmas in July in our book.) Essentially, Summerween keeps to the same traditions as Halloween does but with just a few discrepancies: watermelons are used instead of pumpkins to create jack o' melons, "cheap ol' loser" candy is prevalent (ex: Sand Pop!, Gummy Chairs, and Mr. Adequate-Bar), and, in direct relation to the candy, the Summerween Trickster. As Mystery Shack handyman Soos tells it to the Pines kids, the Summerween Trickster is a boogeyman who will get children discontent with the off-brand candy or lacking in the Summerween spirit.

bowl of cheap ol' loser candy

The legend of the Summerween Trickster has to be invoked, of course, so naturally a scenario shortly afterward begins to set itself up. Wendy, another Mystery Shack employee, along with a Donnie Darko-esque Robbie, the typical douche-bag boyfriend, come by the Shack to pick up her coat that evening. While there, she relates to Dipper details of a party happening later that night and that he ought to come. As it happens, Wendy is one of those slightly older cool kids and incidentally Dipper's crush. So when she inadvertently validates Robbie's point that trick-or-treating is for little kids, he decides to give it up.

"Twins in costumes! The people eat it up."

This proves problematic, as Mabel loves trick-or-treating and has fond memories of doing this together. To spare his sister's feelings, Dipper feigns sickness from eating some of the bad candy. But while in the middle of selling his white lie, there comes a visitor knocking at the Shack's door. Cue the ominous music, and here we are introduced to a trick-or-treating Summerween Trickster. However, exasperated with convincing his sister that he simply isn't up to it, Dipper rudely shuts the door on their visitor twice.

Yeahhh, you already know that this isn't going to go over well.

"Trick or treeeat..."

"Dude, really? You're a little old for this, man."

A third, more adamant knock bangs on their front door and this time Mabel answers, as Dipper refuses to. She politely excuses her brother's behavior, but the Summerween Trickster has been angered and will not be appeased until they have met his demand: retrieve five-hundred pieces of candy that night before the last jack o' melon goes out, or else he will be eaten (just like an unfortunate, random kid is only moments before). Now, even if this wasn't some sort of boogeyman, he's still an incredibly tall and creepily imposing guy. That alone should be adequate motivation. Even so, Dipper begrudgingly goes along with trick-or-treating as Mabel recruits Soos and her friends to help.

"I got a picture!"

Meanwhile, Stan Pines, the self-proclaimed "Master of Fright," gleefully anticipates terrifying any trick-or-treaters who come over to the Mystery Shack. Between an 'Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark' melting face scare and a disembowelment with sausage link guts, this works pretty well for the most part. However, two among the group of costumed kids are underwhelmed with the antics, despite his best efforts. So here we come to a standstill between an unstoppable force and an immovable object: a cheapskate who scares children to avoid handing out treats vs. horror-desensitized kids who want their candy. Who will break first? That question will have to wait.

Elsewhere on the streets of Gravity Falls, the Pines twins and their gang of friends begin hitting up the houses. But it becomes plainly clear that people won't hand out enough candy unless Dipper dresses up in costume, which at this point he hasn't. And to give them a healthy little reminder, the Summerween Trickster promptly drops in – quite literally – to check on their progress, or rather lack thereof.

"Tick tock, children..."

*blows out jack o' melon's candle*

Dipper relents and dresses in a complimentary costume to his sister's, the literal peanut butter to her jelly. This goes off without a hitch – especially with the twin cuteness factor – and during the ensuing montage of trick-or-treating the circle of friends collect four-hundred and ninety-nine pieces of candy, just in the homestretch. But when Wendy and Robbie happen to spy Dipper he ditches both the costume and candy, making up an excuse as to why he's out. When the older kids have driven off, we see that Mabel has overheard everything and is hurt that Dipper would have otherwise ditched her.

To make matters worse, the wheel barrel of their collected candy accidentally dumped itself into a ditch and washed the treats away in a creek. It's then that they notice all of the jack o' melons have gone out, save for one, and despite rescuing it they themselves wind up blowing it out with in sigh of relief. Oops. Cue the ominous music again, and the Summerween Trickster comes to collect.

"Knock, knock..."

Yeah, even as a kid's television show, that scene is still kinda creepy. 

Approaching the children on the deserted street, the Summerween Trickster corners them into a local dump. When Dipper is unable to deliver on his demands, the Trickster stretches taller, his humped back tearing through his coat, and another pair of spindly arms branch out. The Pines boy futilely flings the last and only remaining piece of candy at the changing character, only to see it absorb into the boogeyman's mottled skin. Laughing, it pursues the children and begins to nab them in its clutches. Luckily, Soos comes to the rescue in a truck and dashes the Summerween Trickster into broken bits.

Their luck doesn't last, though, as the Trickster begins reassembling itself into something more akin to a giant spider, with the exception of the smiley face mask. It leaps onto the moving truck, causing Soos to crash his vehicle into the local Summerween Superstore. Everyone is alright, but the immediate danger isn't over as the monster makes its way into the store and stalks about as they hide.

Blocking the entrance, they devise an escape plan by dressing in the surrounding costumes to disguise themselves from the Trickster as store props. Progress is carefully made and eventually they do make it to the front of the Summerween Superstore. Soos, however, cannot resist the temptation of the touch-activated, talking skull candy bowls. Despite Dipper and Mabel's hushed pleas he goes ahead... And it doesn't work. As it turns out, there are no batteries inside. But in a stroke of comical genius, Soos goes out of his way to tear open a package of batteries, install them, and press again, which of course works this time and alerts the monster.

the Summerween Trickster, here resembling No-Face ('Spirited Away'), swallows Soos

Perhaps emboldened by the dire situation of their friend Soos, the children brandish costume weapons and attack the monstrous Summerween Trickster. Flecks of the boogeyman-thing glance off of its mottled skin, some in their mouths, and they notice it has a flavor like saltwater taffy. When it sees that they haven't pieced together the truth, the monster removes its mask and reveals that it is, itself, made entirely of "loser" candy. "Did you ever stop and think about the candy at the bottom of the bag, that no one likes?" it asks. Every year, all of the rejected candy would be discarded in the dump, where it accumulated, grew sentient, and now seeks revenge on the picky children of Gravity Falls.

"Look at my face. Look closely..."

No one would eat him, he tells the children, "So now, I'm going to eat you..." But as the monstrous Summerween Trickster draws them closer within its clutches, it hesitates, gurgling out a cry of agony as its chest begins to painfully break outward. Then, Soos suddenly bursts through in a manner directly taken from Ridley Scott's 'Alien' films, even letting out a shrill, Xenomorph-esque squeal and flailing his arms before reverting to passively chewing. He offers some of the creature's candy innards, which catch the ear of the dying Summerween Trickster. Hearing that someone thinks it tastes good – all it ever really wanted – makes it happy, so resigns itself and passes.

Shortly thereafter, the little kid who was eaten earlier on also bursts out of the Summerween Trickster's body.

"'Sup, Gorny?"

"I've been twamatized!"

Back at the Mystery Shack, Stan Pines does finally prove himself to be the Master of Fright. When the two stubborn trick-or-treaters have tired of T.P.ing the place, they resolve to go inside and find out the old sheister. Little do they realize, though, that he's readying himself for a bath and walk in on him half naked. Fittingly enough, 'Psycho'-like music strikes up at the sight as they flee screaming into the night. Not only does he get his confidence back, he also lays claim to the bags of candy left behind. All in all, a good Summerween for Stan.

Mabel, Dipper, and friends also return to the Mystery Shack, finding Gruncle Stan in his customary chair near the television, watching a late night, horror movie marathon special. Also there, to Dipper's surprise, is Wendy, who relates that the party wasn't so fun after all. Plus, Robbie had to go home early due to choking on the wrong end of a lollipop. (Yup, that boyfriend's a keeper alright.) Dipper is pleased to hear this, but Mabel can't help being disappointed that they have no candy, considering after all the hardship endured that night. Stan pulls out the two claimed bags of candy and generously hands them over to his grandnephew and niece.

And so, the rest of Summerween night is spent gathered around the television, eating candy and watching schlocky horror movies. Not a bad way to end the night. Not bad at all.

ahh, holiday quality time with friends and family

We've been thoroughly enjoying Disney's 'Gravity Falls' and "Summerween" only reaffirms our faith in both its endearing animation and creative storytelling. Not to mention how this episode playfully nodded to a number of very adult horror movies in a kid-friendly way. When they're older, someday, they can appreciate that on another level as we can now. For parents who are hardcore horror fans, this is a good way to introduce their children to the genre without scaring the bejeezus out of them.

This episode scores five out of five jack o' melons.

Goosebumps: The Girl Who Cried Monster

The previous post makes for a good transition into the latest 'Goosebumps' review. Presenting the eighth, on-going installment of the Niche's R.L. Stine series reviews, here's 'The Girl Who Cried Monster'. (WARNING: spoilers ahead)


Lucy Dark is a twelve-year-old girl with straight black hair and eyes, a rounded face, very fair skin, and is short for her age, much like her younger brother, Randy. Her favorite pastime is giving him a fright, claiming to see "toe-biters" and other monsters around nearly every corner in their hometown of Timberland Falls. Even her parents and best friend Aaron Messer, a lanky boy with curly red hair and freckles, have heard more than enough of her tall tales. These tales are especially exasperating to Lucy's mother. Scaring Randy, particularly, puts Mrs. Dark in a foul mood with her daughter. So it comes as no surprise that when Lucy does find an actual monster nobody believes her. Of course, most probably drew this conclusion simply from the novella's title.

Enrolled in the town library's summer reading program, the "Reading Rangers", Lucy arrives for her weekly meet with Mr. Mortman the librarian to give a synopsis of her latest assigned book, Huckleberry Finn. Mr. Mortman is an overall friendly man, bald and plump with small eyes that seem even smaller when he smiles. However his hands that are always sopping wet, likely from handling his pet turtles, which are kept on his desk in a pan of shallow water. So while Mr. Mortman is a generally warm person, certain characteristics such as these give Lucy the creeps. When Lucy returns to the library later to retrieve her forgotten rollerblades, she is given a legitimate reason to be uneasy. Hidden behind the bookcases and shadow of onset dusk during the closed hours, she secretly witnesses a disturbing transformation.

"His head floated up from his turtleneck and started to expand, like a balloon being inflated [...] his eyes bulged out as if on stems, poking straight up like insect antennae [...] And then his mouth began to twist and grow. It opened wide, like a gaping black hole [...]"

Adding to Lucy's horror, the thing that once was Mr. Mortman begins to consume a jar full of living flies by the handful, which were assumed to be food for the turtles. She makes a blind run for it and hastily leaves the library. When she regains her wits, Lucy realizes that the rollerblades are still inside the library and returns, even after what she witnessed, to retrieve them. This time, however, she decides to make her presence very obvious. After all, if Mr. Mortman hears someone coming inside, he won't let himself be seen as a monster. At least that is her reasoning, at any rate. But the library's front door is locked, so Lucy walks back home. Telling her family about Mr. Mortman, they don't pay her much mind and Lucy wonders herself if it was just her imagination.

At her next Reading Rangers meeting, Lucy gives Mr. Mortman her brief report on 'Frankenstein'; a rather appropriate read for her, really. She tries to bait him a little with a few questions to see if she can get a reaction, even something subtle, but gets nothing. At least nothing certain. So for her own peace of mind, Lucy decides to hide out in the library before closing, folding herself up in a low, empty bookshelf. After all the patrons have left and Mr. Mortman has locked up, she leaves the shelf to stand and secretly watch within a nearby aisle. All appears normal with the librarian, who hums to himself as he routinely straightens his desk. But then out comes the jar of living flies. Just like before, Mr. Mortman's head begins to bloat, his eyes stem outward, and his smile twists into a ghastly, gaping maw. "Dinnertime, my timid friends," says the monster in Mr. Mortman's scratchy voice. After feasting on the flies for a while, he turns his attention to the pet turtles. As it turns out they aren't pets after all, but more food for the monster.

The sound of shells cracking is enough to make Lucy turn tail. Not caring if he hears, she flees for the door, only to have forgotten that it has been locked. She was trapped, trapped with the monster. And rapid footsteps were close behind her. But her wits come back in time to open the door and race across the front lawn and cut through a hedge. "Hey, is someone out there?" Mr. Mortman calls. Apparently he hadn't seen her, but it isn't certain. So she runs over to Aaron's house to tell him what had happened at the library. But the conversation goes unsuccessfully, assuming that it is another of Lucy's fanciful fabrications. It's bad enough that her family doesn't believe her, but for her best friend not to is very upsetting for the girl. You can't blame their disbelief, really. So she leaves in a huff and returns home, only to get two scares. The first is from Randy, who leaves a papier-mâché monster in her bed for a cheap startle (she had it coming). The second, Mr. Mortman shows up soon after at their front door.

Turns out that Lucy had left her backpack behind at the library and Mr. Mortman came by to return it. Was there an ulterior motive to this visit? Probably, since he mentions someone sneaking in the library after closing, added to the fact that he lives in the other direction. He seems like a friendly guy, but I don't know if he's that nice. In any case, Mr. Mortman leaves as Lucy's parents return home. Again, she tries to convince them that Mr. Mortman is a monster, which simply aggravates her mother more. Just an excuse to get out of the Reading Rangers program, Mrs. Dark says. So of course this steels her resolve even more to prove it. Lucy arranges the next afternoon to spy on Mr. Mortman with Aaron, who is a no-show due to a coinciding dental appointment. That dirty traitor, she mutters mentally. Regardless, she discreetly enters the library and hides past closing time.

This time Lucy comes prepared with a camera. Funny thing, she forgets about the flash. When she snaps a picture of the monster it startles him and angrily gives chase. However, Mr. Mortman is hindered by the temporary blindness caused by the flash and Lucy escapes, apparently unseen. That same evening, the Dark family go out for Chinese food at the mall, which also has a one-hour photo developer. Lucy drops off the roll of film before they have dinner, then returns for the photos, after. Eagerly she flips through the photographs for the one snapshot. Strangely, though, the picture is perfectly clear. The desk is there, the tray and turtles are there, but no monster. It would seem that Mr. Mortman, at least in his monster form, cannot be captured of film. Lucy makes this case to her parents, but an empty picture is very flimsy evidence.

Lucy's ace in the hole becomes Aaron, a no-nonsense sort of person, who can serve as a witness and knows her parents will believe. Instead of hiding in the library again, this time the two children follow Mr. Mortman to his house after closing time. The first floor windows are too tall, so Aaron fetches a nearby wheelbarrow for Lucy to stand on as he keeps it steady for her. She has a close call, but luckily an aquarium of exotic fish obscure the window well. In case you haven't guessed by now, these fish are as much pets as Mr. Mortman's turtles. Turning into the monster again, he reaches into the tank and helps himself to a few of his "timid friends". Suddenly, seeing that Aaron isn't steadying the wheelbarrow, Lucy falls. The commotion is enough to get Mr. Mortman's attention, who comes outside, human, and grabs her before fleeing. She makes a weak excuse and quickly runs away. "You shouldn't have come all this way!" he calls after her, but lets Lucy go. Aaron finds her soon afterward, having hidden himself during the earlier ordeal. And of course he didn't see a thing.

Eventually Lucy's next Reading Rangers meet rolls around. Despite her protests, Mrs. Dark forces her to go. It's a miserable, rainy day, which makes the tread toward the library even more dreadful. Mr. Mortman greets her kindly as he usually would, and there are other patrons around in the library, so this puts Lucy a little at ease. As she waits for her meet, though, the patrons dwindle until it leaves Mr. Mortman and herself. Alone. And before seeing to Lucy, he locks the door. "I'm sorry, but I can't let you leave, Lucy. I can't let you leave the library," Mr. Mortman growls. (On a side note, he growls this in her ear, which seems a borderline pedo creepy, if you ask me.) It was only a matter of time before he deduced this, really, especially after her repeated attempts. Mr. Mortman becomes the monster and means to do her harm. Fortunately for Lucy, he has his priorities out of order. She accidentally knocks over the library card catalog and escapes while the monster attends to the scattered cards. And as an added gesture of Lady Luck smiling on Lucy, Aaron catches up to her. Turns out that he was hiding in the library and saw the entire event unfold.

At the Dark homestead, Lucy and Aaron repeat what had transpired at the library. Aaron's testimony is key to the story's credibility, as the parents would have dismissed it otherwise. So what do two grown adults do when confronted with a situation such as this? Why, they invite the monster in question over for dinner, of course! ... Yeah. Didn't see that coming. A few evenings later, Mr. Mortman arrives in answer to their invitation. Neither Mr. Mortman nor Lucy can seem to make heads or tails of this awkward position that they find themselves in. What's Mr. and Mrs. Dark's game? The adults chat for a while, serving iced tea as they make small talk. Gradually the conversation shifts over to supper. "What's for dinner?" asks Mr. Mortman, beginning to relax. "You are," replies Lucy's father. Mr. Mortman nervously asks again, feigning that he misheard, and Mr. Dark simply reiterates. Without any hesitation, Lucy's parents pounce on the librarian, baring fangs and devour him, bones and all. Lucy narrates, "My brother and I haven't gotten our fangs yet. That's why we couldn't join in."

Why were Lucy's parents skeptical about her seeing a monster when they were, themselves, monsters? Turns out that Mr. Mortman was the first monster in nearly twenty years to come to Timberland Falls. As for why they devoured him, besides protecting Lucy, was to protect themselves. Her mother explains to the children.

"You both understand why we had to do that, don't you? We can't allow any other monsters in town. It would frighten the whole community. And we don't want people to get frightened and chase us away. We like it here!"

Apparently Aaron doesn't know, then. Poor kid. Probably better that he doesn't find out. And so the 'The Girl Who Cried Monster' ends with Lucy telling her little brother another scary story before bed, actually retelling what happened earlier at the library, and gets a scolding from her mother. No more monster stories, Lucy.

While the majority of the story was pretty predictable, the ending was a pleasant twist. And one that made sense, too. (I'm talking about you, 'Say Cheese and Die!' *wags finger at*) Also, there was no annoying family pet dog and the younger brother wasn't irritable in the slightest, though we know that he acts as six-year-old siblings typically do. It was a simple story, sure, but I liked it overall. Perhaps it's partly the summer reading program, which brings back good memories. I give it three-and-a-half out of five 'Goosebumps' Gs.

My Pet Monster

Maybe you remember this furry blue guy growing up, like I do. Now, I never saw the cartoon, movie, or children's books. Heck, I didn't even think that this plush plaything had a franchise until I learned about it recently. (Funny what you can accidentally stumble across on YouTube.) All I recall is seeing this guy among my friend Don's collection of toys when we were younger. It's a shame that he doesn't have it anymore. Would have been nice to include a photo in the post, for nostalgia's sake. I'll make due with an anonymous picture, instead.

And a little fan art made by James Groman of a more, well, monstrous rendition of My Pet Monster. Might want to keep the kiddies away from this version.

For those who aren't in the know, you're likely wondering exactly what is My Pet Monster. The toy was created by American Greetings, as in the card company, back in 1986 and since then came to grow in popularity with children during the following years, spawning a live-action direct-to-video film (1986), the animated thirteen-episode series (1986-87), and related merchandise. The video and series vary significantly in plot, but share common characteristics. The former is about a boy named Max, who is changed by an ancient, magical statue into the "pet" monster in Hulk-like transformations whenever he gets hungry. (That sounds rather familiar.) The latter follows the misadventures of Max, Chuckie, and Melanie, a circle of kids who have befriended the monster that turns into a doll with magical shackles. On an amusing side note, apparently a number of the voice actors later went on to work in another children's horror cartoon series, namely 'Beetlejuice' (1989-91).

Watch the movie, as well as episodes from the animated series, at YouTube.

Gruesomestein's Monsters

Learned about these comical cartoon shorts from Frankensteinia and felt like sharing three of the total six episodes. I'll let the videos and Pierre Fournier's post do the speaking.

Goosebumps: Night of the Living Dummy

Presenting the seventh, on-going installment of the Niche's R.L. Stine series reviews, here's 'Night of the Living Dummy'. (WARNING: spoilers ahead)


Lindy and Kris Powell are twin girls with a competitive streak a mile wide, one always trying to trump the other. The best way to tell the two apart, aside from their haircuts, Lindy's blond hair kept long while Kris' is trimmed short, is their hobbies. Lindy prefers to keep her paperbacks company and Kris takes pride in her junk jewelry collection. However, as the girls survey the new house that is being built across the street, Lindy discovers a ventriloquist dummy in the nearby dumpster. The wooden puppet has bright red lips and brown hair painted on, blue eyes that move from side to side, and dressed in a gray double-breasted suit with brown leather shoes. Aside from being a little dusty and a chip in the lower lip, the dummy is in decent condition. She decides to keep the dummy, naming "himself" Slappy. Why Slappy? Lindy answers through the him, "Come over here and I'll slap you!" It all seems innocent enough, but even this subtly aggressive remark hints at an ugly, underlying hostility that gradually manifests itself.

Not long after Lindy salvages the puppet, a couple of younger neighborhood children happen by and are drawn in almost immediately by her amateur ventriloquist act. The Marshall kids laugh enthusiastically at Slappy's comical performance, arousing Kris' jealousy. Seeing that getting such attention rubs her sister the wrong way, Lindy decides to keep the dummy out of spite, if for no other reason. The spotlight only grows as Lindy is requested to perform at Amy Marshall's birthday party. And for a tidy little sum of twenty dollars, much to Kris' chagrin. However, as she watches her sister succeed in school with Slappy's sketches, the cogs begin to turn in Kris' head. As Lindy's popularity grew, so would her profits. Word would spread and quite likely Lindy would perform at other parties, earning more and more money. Being a ventriloquist seemed to be a very lucrative business. Why not cash in as well?

Waiting for a private performance in the Powell residence that evening, Kris and her parents sit together downstairs as Lindy prepares. Not expecting to, Kris finds herself asking if she could have a dummy, too. But Lindy catches the conversation and the twins get into a heated argument. It only exasperates the situation when Mr. and Mrs. Powell interrupt to mention that a good puppet can be pricey, so the twins should share. Neither girl is happy with the situation, but Kris seems to settle with this compromise. When she quietly asks to hold Slappy, the dummy suddenly snarls at her, "Beat it, Kris! Get lost, you stupid moron!" and hits her hard across the face. Everyone is startled by this, apparently even Lindy, who claims innocence. Regardless, Lindy forces out an apology at the behest of her dad. Why can't I have something that belongs just to me, Lindy thinks angrily to herself. But she would get even later that night, grabbing Kris' wrist as if the dummy had for a cheap scare.

Perhaps things would have worked themselves out had it stayed like this. However, returning home the following afternoon from Monday's chorus rehearsal, Kris finds another dummy seated next to Slappy. As it turns out, Mr. Powell glimpsed this puppet in a pawnshop window and purchased him for cheap. "I think the pawnbroker was glad to get rid of him," he adds. If we've learned anything from 'Monster Blood', it's that you ought to be wary of questionable wares from shady stores. Though it resembles Lindy's dummy, this one has bright red hair with blue denim jeans, a red-and-green flannel shirt, and white high-top sneakers. Excited, she shows everyone at home her new gift and names him Mr. Wood. Albeit not the most original name, but she is twelve after all. This, however, does not go over well with Lindy, who screams, "Copycat! Copycat!"

Next afternoon, Kris invites a friend, Cody Matthews, over to watch and critique her practice run with Mr. Wood. Unfortunately, Kris doesn't seem to have the knack for jokes like her sister. It only rubs salt in the wound when Lindy later relates that she performed for Alice, her best friend, and several others that evening and received generous laughter with Slappy. Kris tells a white lie to not lose face. As they prepare for bed, Lindy asks about a Betsey Johnson skirt and silk blouse that is laid out. It's for a student teacher's farewell party tomorrow, Kris explains, so she wants to dress up. When Kris awakes the following morning, though, she finds Mr. Wood wearing her dress clothes and angrily accuses her sister. Lindy claims ignorance in the matter. Effectively wrinkling her outfit, Kris rushes to get ready and has to make do with something less formal for class.

Saturday, the day of Amy Marshall's birthday party, Lindy offers less than positive criticism as her sister practices again with Mr. Wood. This time with Cody and Amy also present. Having a paying job under her belt, she remarks as someone with an air of superiority does with an aspiring amateur. Bear in mind that it's only been about a week since Lindy salvaged Slappy. Between the remarks, Lindy keeps fidgeting with her watch, anxious to get going. When asked why she isn't rehearsing, she replies, "No need. I've got my act down. I don't want to over rehearse." Cocky to boot, too. Lindy grabs Mr. Wood from Kris' hands to give some pointers before she can speak, having just about enough of her sister's ego. Reaching to take the dummy back, Mr. Wood suddenly rasps, "You're a jerk!" in a throaty growl to Kris' face. A torrent of insults ensue. "Stupid moron! Get lost! Get lost, stupid jerk!" Once more, Lindy balks at the obvious conclusion that she is to blame. She argues that the dummy is talking on its own. But apparently it wasn't worth sticking around to resolve, since Lindy drops everything to dash over to the party.

Lindy returns home from the party later and seeks out Kris, who is sitting on one of the backyard swings. Despite being a little hurt still from earlier, Kris commends her sister when she hears that the party was a big success. The afterglow fizzles when Lindy learns that Kris, in the meantime, was asked to perform at the spring concert as master of ceremonies with Mr. Wood. Lindy doesn't even feign a smile or pretend to be happy for her. Dryly she remarks, "Well, good luck. With that weird dummy of yours, you'll need it." But the sibling competition is momentarily put aside that evening when the sisters find Mr. Wood sprawled on top of a disheveled Slappy, hands around his throat. It's as if the puppets had been fighting, then froze right in place. Unnerved by what they see, Kris and Lindy go to their parent's bedroom. Mr. Powell is away on business so it's only their mother, who is already on edge from reading a Stephen King novel. (Nice touch, Stine.) Of course she doesn't believe the girls and sends them back to bed. Unsure what to do, Kris decides to try keeping Mr. Wood in the closet for the night. However, Kris awakens the following morning to find Mr. Wood sitting next to Slappy, almost mockingly.

For the next two days, the girls are free from any strange happenings with the dummies. Much to Kris' relief, as she practices in front of the mirror with Mr. Wood. It's still fair to say that Lindy is in the lead as far as this sibling rivalry goes. However, this lead jumps again when Lindy interrupts Kris' practice with some exciting news. Mrs. Petrie was at Amy Marshall's birthday party and works at the Channel Three television station. Impressed with her performance on Saturday with Slappy, she offered Lindy the opportunity to appear on their weekly show Talent Search. An appearance on TV. Kris can hardly believe it. After Lindy leaves the room, Kris throws Mr. Wood hard to the floor in frustration. She regrets the rash action and picks up the dummy, even cradling and apologizing to the puppet. But to her, Mr. Wood's eyes still seem cold and unforgiving.

Late that night, Kris accidentally awakens her sister when she gets up to fetch a drink. Lindy lies back down to resume her rest. Suddenly, she hears a shrill shriek from downstairs. Lindy finds her sister standing horrified at the scene in the kitchen. The glow of the open refridgerator reveals itself to be empty and, looking closer, that its contents have been dumped onto the floor. Then adding insult to the situation, Kris' jewelry has been strewn about the mess, looking like "some kind of bizarre salad". And in the middle of it all sits Mr. Wood, bedecked in beads and earrings with a platter of chicken on his lap. (I'm starting to get the impression that Mr. Wood is a cross-dresser.) Of course Kris' cry didn't reach just her sister. Their mother comes downstairs and sees the kitchen in chaos, the final straw that breaks the camel's back. When Lindy and Kris try to explain, she screams, "Stop it! Stop! I've had enough. This is just sick. Sick!" The sisters are able to keep their dummies by cleaning up the mess. However, if either so much as breathes a word about the dummies to her again, it will be revoked.

By the time the girls get back to bed from cleaning it is past 3 AM, neither sister speaking a word to the other. Taking a last look at Mr. Wood before shutting him in the closet, Kris thinks, I'm beginning to hate this dummy -- fear him and hate him. Kris had just about fallen asleep when she hears a muffled cry from the closet, demanding to be let out. She wakes up Lindy, so frightened that tears stream down her face. Then, in a whisper, Lindy tells her that she knows who has been behind all of this. Who? "I have," she answers, closing her eyes and laughing. Lindy reveals that she was behind everything, including what happened that night. Wow. I wouldn't normally say this, but what a little b*tch. And the thing is that she's so damn remorseless about the whole thing, arguing that it was just a joke. "No. It was too mean to be just a joke. I'm never speaking to you again," insists Kris, angrily.

"Never" only lasts for less than a couple days. As Cody walks home with Kris after school, she replies that there has been some conversation between the two. Forgiveness, however, is another matter entirely. Home alone, Kris brings out Mr. Wood for practice when she notices a yellow slip inside the dummy's pocket. Unfolding the slip reveals a single, intelligible sentence handwritten on the parchment, which she tries to read aloud: "Karru marri odonna loma molonu karrano". Letting out a small gasp, Kris thinks that she saw Mr. Wood blink. But Kris reasons that it is only her imagination and resumes her practice. Later that evening, an elderly couple of neighbors come by the Powell homestead to pay them a visit. Hearing about their ventriloquist acts, the parents call down their girls to give a sample performance. Lindy's goes without a hitch, but when it comes to Kris' turn, the dummy rips into the poor couple with hurtful jokes. Mortified, Kris screams out an apology and runs upstairs crying.

Personally, it would have made sense for Kris to assume that Lindy was somehow to blame. After all, she proved that she could effectively throw her voice. But Kris doesn't come to that conclusion, simply confounded by what had happened. Whether Lindy did it or not, she claims ignorance and asks why Kris would do such a mean thing. She even goes so far as to say that it is just a poor joke on Kris' part. "Very good crying," remarks Lindy sarcastically, adding snidely, "But it doesn't fool me, either. And it won't fool Mom and Dad." With that, she takes Slappy and leaves Kris to practice -- but not before reveling in the possibility that Kris might be kept from the concert as punishment. Like I said before, what a little b*tch. Unfortunately for Kris, things only continue to get worse. She does perform at the concert with Mr. Wood, but the puppet suddenly starts insulting Mrs. Berman, the music teacher, on stage. Then it vomits a rancid green liquid at the audience in the front rows, 'The Exorcist' style. Needless to say, Kris is forcibly removed from the stage and threatened with suspension, possibly expulsion.

While it's possible that Lindy rigged up the puppet to spew like that, it seems very unlikely. Very early the next morning, just after 1:20 AM, Kris awakens from her vivid nightmare of reliving last night's performance. The rumbling of a truck outside is heard, but so is something else. Gentle footsteps. Footsteps inside the girls' bedroom, leaving the closet and out to the hall. Kris follows the shadow and sees that it is none other than Mr. Wood, walking all on his own. Finally, what we've been waiting for. So Kris chases after the dummy downstairs, waking Lindy. Lindy fetches their parents at Kris' pleading, but when they come the dummy plays -- well, dumb. But as soon as they leave, the dummy springs back and the girls struggle to overpower him. All the while, Mr. Wood snarls that Kris brought him to life with "the ancient words" and that they are now his slaves.

Kris repeats the written words, but they prove ineffective, as do their efforts to hurt the dummy. Between this point and when they bury Mr. Wood in a suitcase outside, you'll hear him declare "You are my slaves!" and "I have powers!" repeatedly to the point of annoying. It seems like the best solution for the time being. Except Mr. Wood reappears the next morning when the girls come downstairs for breakfast, the soiled puppet seated at the counter "lifelessly" with their mother present. As long as their parents are around, they should be alright and have time to think of another solution. But what would be entertaining about that? Mr. and Mrs. Powell promptly leave their daughters alone to go on an errand in town. As soon as they are alone, Mr. Wood doesn't play possum any longer. "I have to punish you. I have to prove to you that I am serious," Mr. Wood rasps.

Mr. Wood proceeds to make his point by strangling the family dog, Barky. But the girls manage to force him off before hurting the pet seriously. Struggling outside into the rain, the girls see that construction men next door are operating steamrollers. The plan is simple: crush Mr. Wood. Barky unintentionally throws a proverbial monkey wrench into the works when the dog escapes the house and runs toward the steamrollers. So of course the girls let go of the dummy and nab the little black terrier before it's harmed. "I'm free!" cries Mr. Wood, "Now you shall pay!" Famous last words. A second steamroller runs over the dummy in timely fashion, crushing the wooden body into splinters and releasing a foul green gas (Uh, oh. Hope it's not like 'Return of the Living Dead'.) that disappears like a fart in the wind. The steamroller operator, of course, is given quite a scare but is relieved that it wasn't a kid. Kris and Lindy, along with Barky, go back inside. The threat is over. Well, one that is. In the girls' bedroom, Kris' arm is grabbed suddenly by Slappy. "Hey, slave -- is that other guy gone? I thought he'd never leave!" remarks the dummy.

While the sibling rivalry was annoying at times, Stine really pushed it further into something rather dark. I came to legitimately hate Lindy, which impressed me. Since I've started the 'Goosebumps' series, I haven't felt strong emotions towards any of Stine's characters until this novella. Kudos for achieving that effect, as well as that tip of the hat to Stephen King. The same goes for the Regan MacNeil moment with Mr. Wood. Nice visual. My only complaint is not seeing more of the living dummies. I am aware that they do make a return in the series, so the next time Slappy appears in 'Goosebumps' it should hopefully satisfy this want. Lay off the "slave" and "power" rants and it should be good. I give it four out of five 'Goosebumps' Gs.
On a side note, maybe it's just me, but I can't help thinking of Billy the ventriloquist dummy from 'Dead Silence'. The flat brown hair, red lips, green eyes (Slappy has blue eyes in the novella, however his eyes are green in the cover art), red bow ties, and suits. Coincidence? Perhaps.

Slappy (left) and Billy (right) from 'Goosebumps' and 'Dead Silence', respectively

Goosebumps: Let's Get Invisible!

Presenting the sixth, on-going installment of the Niche's R.L. Stine series reviews, here's 'Let's Get Invisible!' (WARNING: spoilers ahead)

It's a special day today for two different reasons. For one, it is Max's twelfth birthday. The second? It's also the first day that he turns invisible. The story begins with Max, a rather conscientious boy, combing his hair which he claims is his best personal feature. His younger brother Noah, who goes commonly by "Lefty" since he is left-handed, is your typical annoying sibling and pesters Max until the guests come. First arrives Zack, Max's best friend, sporting a new haircut with the left side partially shaved and a gift of old comics. Next arrive Erin and April, completing the circle of friends. Unfortunately the rain has canceled the planned barbecue and outdoor activities. Passing the time with Twister and the first half of 'Terminator', the party dwindles down. Zack takes his leave and the girls remain, waiting for Erin's mother to pick them up.

In the meantime, the children decide to go upstairs to Max's bedroom (if they were older, I could see some shenanigans going on). But after a cheap scare from Lefty, who waited in the linen closet to jump out, Erin takes notice of the attic. Erin, a rather cute girl with short blond hair and a mousy voice, becomes very interesting in exploring the old attic. Max has a small crush on her, so concedes with her rather odd request. Along with the four is Whitey the family dog, who, as it turns out, is actually all black. Sniffing around the attic, Whitey paws at an otherwise unnoticed door. Curious, the children force the obstinate hinges and find a tall mirror inside the small, dark room. The only apparent source of illumination is a lamp light looming at the top of the mirror frame. Noticing a chain dangling down, Max gives it a pull. A sudden flash nearly blinds him for a moment, then dims to a more comfortable brightness. Erin, April, and Lefty look afraid, much to Max's confusion, then explain that they cannot see him.

Annoyed by this apparent practical joke and aggravated by the light, which has begun to be painful, Max pulls the chain again to turn it off. The other three are startled, but very relieved that Max has returned. But Max remains skeptical and tells Erin to prove it, to turn invisible herself, but before she can her mother arrives. The girls leave and the matter goes untouched until a couple of days later. Unable to shake what the others said, Max goes up to the attic alone one night to get some peace of mind. While he's examining the mirror, Lefty comes up from behind and gives him another cheap scare. Bothered by his little brother, but afraid of waking his parents, Max relents and together decide to test the mirror at the same time. After pulling the chain, the lamp light flashes on and they both turn invisible simultaneously. Fooling around for a few minutes, they turn the light off. However, it takes a few minutes for them to turn visible again. It seems that the longer a person stays invisible, the longer it takes for them to return.

Next Saturday, Zack comes over to visit. Having left earlier when the birthday party ended, Zack is still unaware of the mirror. Max and Lefty take advantage of this and decide to have some fun with him. In the attic, Max savors the suspense it overtakes him and then uses the mirror to turn invisible before Zack's eyes. Skeptical at first, then frightened, and finally amazed, Zack wants to try when Max returns. However Max is hesitant. During his disappearance, Max has begun to realize the gravity of the situation. Nobody knew where the mirror came from or how it even worked. Who was to say returning was guaranteed? And while in a state of invisibility, Max has noticed a strange, unsettling feeling that grows stronger the longer he's gone. First a painful sensitivity to the light, then a lightheaded sensation, followed by a rather scary feeling of floating away and losing your grip on the physical world. Of course Max keeps most of this to himself, not wanting to appear afraid. So when Erin and April pop up into the attic soon afterward, things gradually get out of Max's control.

A rather dangerous game develops: who can stay invisible the longest? First Zack, next Erin, then Max again, despite his hesitance. Going on four minutes and counting, Max feels the light enveloping him like ocean waves, pulling him away from the shore of reality as the people around him grow distant. Max desperately pleads for someone to pull the chain. His faint voice manages to carry over and Zack hurries to turn off the light, but to their horror the chain breaks. Fortunately, Erin scrounges around inside the lamp and finds just enough of the chain left to grip. Several minutes later Max returns, but even this scare isn't enough to deter the others from competing. April however, who has been resistant to the entire thing, gets worked up enough to speak out against it. "None of you are listening to me!" she cries, adding, "Answer my question. What if one of you is invisible and the light won't go out?" But their argument is interrupted when grandparents Poppy and Grammy arrive. So the friends leave, but Erin and Zack remain determined to beat the new record of five minutes, forty-eight seconds.

After seeing his friends out, Max comes to the dinner table to greet his grandparents and take a seat. Except something, or rather someone, is amiss. Like an idiot, Lefty has turned himself invisible and picks up his soup bowl from the table in a juvenile attempt to be funny. Max notices before anyone else at the table does and manages to get Lefty to follow him back upstairs to the attic and turn visible. Max is furious but Lefty is too stoked being the new record holder to care, annoyingly repeating, "I win! I win!" Despite being invisible for nearly ten minutes, Lefty claims that he felt fine the entire time. Since everyone else has been downplaying what they've felt, it's hard to say with any certainty if he's telling the truth. His testimony is even more questionable after Max makes him swear to not use the mirror by himself again, but crosses his fingers on both hands. Later that night, Max sneaks back to the mirror alone and stares at it for the longest time until he hears a whisper coming from the mirror, quietly calling his name. This frightens him enough to hurry downstairs and into bed, praying that the whisper would not follow.

The next morning, Max wakes early to get ready with the rest of the family for their visit to Springfield to see relatives. As he gets ready, Max's attention is caught by the hovering red t-shirt that comes out of his bedroom closet. Angry that Left had broken his promise, Max demands that he march right back up to the attic and turn visible again. However, Max's anger soon turns to worry when Lefty suddenly drops a pair of jeans that he was moving across the room. He calls for his younger brother, but receives no answer. He hurries up to the attic, frantically searching for Lefty. To Max's relief he answers this time and reappears, however something seems a little off with Lefty. Unable to put his finger on it, though, Max puts it out of his mind and goes back to getting himself around. Deciding to call his friends and cancel the competition once they've reached Springfield, Max feels reassured as he finishes dressing. No more mirror, no more turning invisible. But of course we know better, now don't we?

Wednesday morning, Zack, Erin, and April appear at Max's front door. Lefty, who isn't there that morning, called each of them, saying that Max had changed his mind about the competition. (Hmmm. Now why would Lefty do this, I wonder?) This puts Max in a predicament, of course, since he had not and he easily buckles to his friends. Even April, who was previously adamantly against it, has come around and wants to give the mirror a try. So the children head to the attic to continue the competition. After accidentally turning Whitey invisible with April, her turn is cut short. Next goes Erin, who remains invisible for over twelve minutes and was returned when she stopped answering. The others seem alright with continuing, but Max isn't relieved. Something seems different about Erin. Zack takes his turn and, like Erin, is brought back after thirteen minutes when he doesn't answer. (But not before he has some fun juggling tomatoes in front of a neighbor.) Also like Erin, something is not right with him. Max notices that his hair is styled the other way, but Zack denies it, saying it's simply Max's imagination.

Now it comes to Max's turn. At least this time he has the sense to refuse, content to let Zack remain the new champion. But Erin and Zack are having none of that. Rather forcefully, they move him towards the mirror and turn on the light. Invisible now, he seems to settle with it and waits until the uneasy feelings start to creep up on him. Unfortunately, as the uneasiness grows stronger and he tells them to turn off the light, Max's mother comes upstairs into the attic before it can be done. At this point, no one hears his voice and Max floats into the mirror against his will, into "the center of an undulating, rolling world of twisting lights and colors". Deeper inside still, the colors change to shades of gray and black, which gradually fade 'til everything around Max is white. And in this white void Max meets none other than his own reflection, cold and sinister. Inside the void are dozens of distorted, tormented "fun house mirror" faces, among them include Erin and Zack.

As it turns out, Erin and Zack have been switched by doppelgangers of the dastardly sort and this reflection means to do the same to Max. But through sheer willpower and fear Max strains through the incoherent colors and shimmer, crossing back over to the other side. When the other Erin and Zack see that he is not one of them, however, they force Max back to the mirror and turn the light on, turning him invisible again. Max's reflection, unlike before, remained in the mirror this time, palms pressed against the glass, assuring Max, "In a few minutes, you'll join me in here." Meanwhile Max's mother had gone back downstairs and poor April is scared half out of her wits. Then, out of nowhere, Lefty comes upstairs and throws the ball at the mirror, apparently thinking that it is Max, shouting, "Think fast!" The glass shatters, Max becomes visible, the evil reflections of Erin and Zack are pulled into the shards, and the real pair of friends return. Everything's back to normal... right? Maybe not. As Max and his brother toss a baseball back and forth between them later, he notices that Lefty is throwing right-handed.

I was pleasantly pleased with the story in 'Let's Turn Invisible!', which I wasn't expecting. Personally, I couldn't imagine how turning invisible would be scary, even if the condition became permanent. Turns out that it was all just a lure used by the mirror. The world within the mirror and the reflection doppelgangers is what made the book, even if it was near the end. Point is, it went in a creative direction. At the most I suspected that the children might turn into ghosts, the way they described sensations of feeling light and turning ethereal. Glad that it wasn't so predictable. I give it four out of five Goosebumps Gs.

Black History Month, part II

This February, the Niche looks at some of the talented black men and women in horror, who are not only noteworthy actors, but also dignified in their parts. In commemoration of Black History Month, here is part II of our honorary mentions. (To read part I, select here.)

DANNY GLOVER
(1946-present)

To action enthusiasts, he is Detective Roger Murtaugh from the 'Lethal Weapon' franchise; to Disney lovers, he is baseball manager George Knox from 'Angels in the Outfield' (1994). To those in the sci-fi community, however, he is Lt. Mike Harrigan from 'Predator 2' (1990) and even more recently to fans of horror/thriller films as a detective in 'Saw' (2004) and the conductor in 'Night Train' (2009). Talk about a diverse acting career, and the thing is that he's good in each situation. I'll be sure to elaborate more on Glover in a review of 'Night Train' that I've been neglecting.

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EUGENE CLARK
(1951-present)

I can't speak on the behalf of Romero's 'Dead' franchise fans, but 'Day of the Dead' (1985) seemed a bit off the mark. But what the third film did have going for it was Bub, the zombie that gradually learns. 'Land of the Dead' (2005) expanded on this concept, casting Clark as the zombie dubbed "Big Daddy", who leads a revolution as well as exhibits camaraderie and empathy with other zombies. The difficulty of portraying those characteristics as a zombie while remaining believable shouldn't be underestimated. On a side note, Clark has also played minor parts in master television programs the likes of 'Alfred Hitchcock Presents' ("User Deadly") and 'The Twilight Zone' ("The Wall").

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NAOMIE HARRIS
(1976-present)

Now, I've abstained from using the generalization of "African American", because we have something of a rarity, an Englishwoman in our midst. Ms. Harris has appeared in the latter two 'Pirates of the Caribbean' ('06 and '07) Disney films, and even more recently in 'Ninja Assassin' (2009), but what makes her remarkable, to myself at least, is her role in the gritty epidemic scenario seen in '28 Days Later' (2002). (Personally, I don't care if you call them "infected" or "zombies". Be technically correct if you like, I call it being anal retentive.) The story doesn't pull punches and neither does she, depicting a strong woman who has had to harden herself in order to survive this nightmare. Along with 'Resident Evil's Rain (Michelle Rodriguez), I would want '28 Days Later's Selena in my survivor group.

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AALIYAH HAUGHTON
(1979-2001)

While 'Queen of the Damned' (2002) wasn't an especially great vampire film (though I will take it any day over 'Twilight' (2008) in a heartbeat), it does have its redeeming qualities, such as Aaliyah. Alluring and seductive, her role as Akasha, queen-goddess of the vampire race, was memorable even if you put the starlet's own untimely death out of mind. When she walks into the modern day London club, exuding a feral power and stride that I can only describe as a female panther personified, she immediately grabs your attention. The only shame is that we see so little of her in this Anne Rice adaptation.

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EARTHA KITT
(1927-2008)

Alright, so I confess that I grew up watching the 'Ernest' movies as a kid, 'Ernest Scared Stupid' (1991) being my hands-down favorite. Aside from Jim Varney, Eartha Kitt was the most interesting character, cast as "Old Lady" Hackmore, Briarville's town recluse with a yard covered in junkyard sculptures. She fits the part perfectly, absolutely perfectly. And while 'Ernest Scared Stupid' is at its heart a comedy, it's the closest to horror that I've seen Eartha Kitt act in. And from what I hear, it's a heck of a lot better than 'Troll' (1986) or 'Troll 2' (1990). "Oh, my Goddddddd...!"

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RONALD McCALL and JERYL PRESCOTT

Unfortunately, I couldn't find much information about either McCall or Prescott, but if you've seen 'The Skeleton Key' (2005), you will remember them very well as Papa Justify (McCall) and Mama Cecile (Prescott). Granted, their screen time is very short, but their characters are pivotal to the plot. And while most movies with voodoo (or hoodoo, in this case) come across as either hokey or outright offensive, 'The Skeleton Key' makes it seem all too real and something to fear. Watch the ritual with Papa Justify's Conjure of Sacrifice record playing and tell me that you don't get goosebumps.